Lyrics ... with no topic

"Who are you to tell me how to live my life (my life)

Cause I won't give this up,

These are my shoes, my view, my cue,

To say I do give a f&*k"

Bliss n Eso, 'Addicted', 2010


"Oh Jesus Christ, what name do you go by now,

For the time is passing with the wind blows new decrees

Canned for life your used by date is faded

And followers of you now watch TV"

Powderfinger, 'JC', 1996


Endemic of our society/culture today? I think so.

Heroes of the faith ... now and then

"It's just enough to be strong

In the broken places, in the broken places

It's just enough to be strong

Should the world rely on faith tonight"

Jars of Clay, 'Faith Enough', 2003

We just finished a series at CITV called 'Heroes of The Faith', from Hebrews 11. I have previously heard part of this series at a weekend away in 2010, and it resonated with me then also, so much so that I had already drafted most of another blog entry where it was mentioned. Today though, I thought I might reflect briefly, through my notes (because it has become exceedingly important to maintain notes - God put it on my heart to do this last year and I can really see the blessing now!), on how I saw its message and application between the two occasions:

- The idea of the heart being an 'idol factory' stood out to me originally in the sermon on Abraham sacrificing Isaac (Isaac being a kind of idol to Abraham). I remember clearly thinking that work was my Isaac and that I had to run away from it. This time around, the idea of understanding God's tests, and that we need to see that tests have arrived when obeying God feels foolish or that it will not bring blessing, was more obvious. I have maintained the same job. God seems to have granted me some abilities to not see work as something worth idolising or being a slave to, but a test for my own good where I can truly demonstrate my allegiance. I also remember feeling this time that consumerism may now be more an idol to me, something I have expressed elsewhere recently in this blog.

- Originally I missed both the sermon on Noah and the closing sermon, but I heard the whole series this time. It was really concise yet thorough on what faith is, how that faith can last, and how we can also be a hero of the faith ('a faith that doesn't need success is the ultimate success'). In 2o10 I have noted that faith is a choice and that its sincerity is rewarded, but I may not have grasped the simple fact that it is reasonable and starts from our thoughts.

On a side note, several of the slides in this series were titled 'We Can Be Heroes', which reminded me of the Chris Lilley series of the same title. It was called a mockumentary because that was exactly its purpose - it was mocking us and what we deem heroic/significant in the lives of ourselves and others - and it was pretty funny! But should we really be laughing when as sinners it's not really so far fetched??

My sincere thanks go out to the minister whom God directed to so carefully put together this series so it can be used for my instruction, both as it has been and as it will continue.

Random acts of kindness

"Black fingernails, red wine,

I want to make you all mine ..."

Eskimo Joe, 'Black Fingernails, Red Wine', 2006

So I went for a walk yesterday (hence the song - try doing some exercise to it sometime, it's perfect!), thinking once again about what I could write next in my blog, and it started raining. This brought back a memory from university when my boyfriend (now husband) and I were walking back to my flat when suddenly there was a storm above us. We ran to a service station, where this guy getting petrol - a total stranger - saw us dripping wet and asked if he could give us a lift home. We jumped in his car whilst he paid - he had a $20 note just sitting there, and he obviously trusted us not to do anything with it. I don't remember too much else about the trip, other than he drove us home and we weren't so wet anymore.

I wonder if this guy was a Christian? Or was this just a moment of kindness or morality in a normal life? In some respects I don't mind, I'd just like to imitate his behaviour - but I really hope he has been saved too.

An epiphany ... and netball

"The b&%$h went nuts,

She stabbed my basketball, and the speakers to my stereo,

She called me c ..."

Ben Folds, 'B^%#h Went Nuts', 2008

I had an epiphany this weekend whilst playing netball, which I believe will help me with one of my New Years Resolutions - but, most importantly, will help me overcome a sin I struggle to repent of.

I have a problem with swearing ... mainly that I can't stop doing it. Some swear words are just really good descriptive words. I think I have been swearing since I was in primary school. Writing them is another story (as the lyrics above demonstrate), but I never seem to have a problem enounciating them. Many people have tried to help me stop (my boss never swears, she says 'Pluck a duck' instead, which I admit I use from time to time...) with minimal success until now.

I seem to play netball at the moment with a few of the more rowdy players that I have met over the lifetime I have played. On Saturday, one of our girls got upset that her opponent had given her a knock and she gave him a mouthful. She got a warning as a result and the game suddenly turned uncomfortable. Whilst I felt sorry for her situation and annoyed at her opponent, her outburst caught me off guard and I felt that I wanted to distance myself from it. Then, all of a sudden, I found myself thinking of what other people must think when I speak like that ... and I was horrified.

Problem solved? I'm at least on my way. I'm thankful to God for the unique ways he presents to move past hurdles like these and in so doing brings us closer to him.

Fear ... and the dark

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see

All your life you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly

Into the light of the dark black night ..."

'Blackbird', The Beatles, 1968

Yay - a chance to use a Beatles song as an opener. The music may be a little bit more upbeat than what I was hoping to write about though.

My niece is still scared of the dark although she is seven. It may be partly my fault, as I felt compelled to tell her about werewolves when she was four and there was a full moon in the sky. My husband and I babysat her this weekend just gone, and she simply couldn't sleep by herself in her own bed, a habit her parents have allowed her to develop for some time now. Yet I think I have learnt something about my own fear of the dark recently too. Ironically, one occasion where this stood out was when we were playing a game with Lilly while we were babysitting her, which was essentially Hide and Seek in the dark. Another was when my work travels found me in a hotel room with a mouse and I was terrified that if I turned the lights out the mouse would have free rein. Obviously I too can still fear the dark like a child. But mostly the idea has stood out from our recent explorations through the gospel at church. We are to run toward the light and away from the dark, and we are to be light in the world. I feel that one way God is leading me on this particular journey right now is in my recognition that it's people that really matter, that it's really important to always give people the time of day and not feel that you can't afford to do that. God can use every one of these encounters for good.

Whilst we are called to avoid the darkness and what it embodies, we are also told that 'the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom', one of my favourite Bible quotes to regurgitate and ponder over. I remember having to discuss fear in a high school debate once and having to talk off the top of my head when my notes ran out to make up the time. We are told essentially to fear darkness, to fear God, but not to fear or worry about tomorrow. Yet we all fear different things. Fear can drive us or debilitate us. It actually causes a physiological 'fight or flight' response in us. The idea of fear is fascinating, and I must admit I'm glad God gave us such a quirk.

Replacements

"Living in a material world

And I am a material girl ..."

Madonna, 'Material Girl', 1985

I have replaced several relatively big things in my life in the last few weeks ... my car, my glasses, my phone ... it's almost too much fun. It worries me that if I'm on a roll that replacing my God might not be too far away.

Losing a bet

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,

drifting through the wind,

wanting to start again?

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin,

like a house of cards,

one blow from caving in?"

Katy Perry, 'Firework', 2010

(P.S. I don't really like Katy Perry or most of her songs, and this isn't really related to my topic, but I have it stuck in my head and I like these lyrics at least ... plus they sung it on Glee ... is that enough excuses? Or should I just give up on the song thing?)

I lost a bet yesterday, a bet I thought I really should have won, and I actually learnt something as a result of it (don't worry, I'm not trying to talk up the value of betting).

My boss is one of my favourite people - she makes every day at work fun, and she somehow makes it so I come away from that place feeling like I understand things better - myself, the world, the business. She also challenges me to think harder than I otherwise would (I'm pretty sure I wrote in a previous post that I'm not too strong on thinking). It's been a rough week, there have been some interesting (perhaps not entirely correct?) decisions made by people higher up the chain than us, and we're feeling the negativity as a result. My boss decided to spice things up on Friday - and make the environment more neutral - by seeing who could be the first to make 15 positive comments to relative strangers that day.

I don't think I even made one. She absolutely smashed us out of the water. I found myself thinking - and saying - "Am I really a mean person?".

It's surprising how easy it is to get in your comfort zone as a Christian. As I thought about who I could compliment and how, my thoughts kept coming back to the colleagues I was closest to and the good things I had seen in them that day. These are people who differ in their opinions to Christianity - some converts, some unclear (or at least it's not clear to me), some agnostic - and God has not yet used me as a vessel to win any to Christ, despite my prayers and my efforts in relationship with them and so forth. I'm sure if it is God's will that this will be a place to bear fruit for his glory, but it's like I've already limited my scope. Surely my mission should theoretically extend to every encounter I have every day - and yet when I was put on the spot to really do this I stuttered.

The Spirit still has much work to do in me.