Losing a bet

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag,

drifting through the wind,

wanting to start again?

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin,

like a house of cards,

one blow from caving in?"

Katy Perry, 'Firework', 2010

(P.S. I don't really like Katy Perry or most of her songs, and this isn't really related to my topic, but I have it stuck in my head and I like these lyrics at least ... plus they sung it on Glee ... is that enough excuses? Or should I just give up on the song thing?)

I lost a bet yesterday, a bet I thought I really should have won, and I actually learnt something as a result of it (don't worry, I'm not trying to talk up the value of betting).

My boss is one of my favourite people - she makes every day at work fun, and she somehow makes it so I come away from that place feeling like I understand things better - myself, the world, the business. She also challenges me to think harder than I otherwise would (I'm pretty sure I wrote in a previous post that I'm not too strong on thinking). It's been a rough week, there have been some interesting (perhaps not entirely correct?) decisions made by people higher up the chain than us, and we're feeling the negativity as a result. My boss decided to spice things up on Friday - and make the environment more neutral - by seeing who could be the first to make 15 positive comments to relative strangers that day.

I don't think I even made one. She absolutely smashed us out of the water. I found myself thinking - and saying - "Am I really a mean person?".

It's surprising how easy it is to get in your comfort zone as a Christian. As I thought about who I could compliment and how, my thoughts kept coming back to the colleagues I was closest to and the good things I had seen in them that day. These are people who differ in their opinions to Christianity - some converts, some unclear (or at least it's not clear to me), some agnostic - and God has not yet used me as a vessel to win any to Christ, despite my prayers and my efforts in relationship with them and so forth. I'm sure if it is God's will that this will be a place to bear fruit for his glory, but it's like I've already limited my scope. Surely my mission should theoretically extend to every encounter I have every day - and yet when I was put on the spot to really do this I stuttered.

The Spirit still has much work to do in me.