'You made me hard, you made me cold

I was simple, but now I know ...'

The Whitlams, 'Made Me Hard', 1999

You may remember I wrote a blog entry earlier in the year about the word ‘perspective’, its definition and how I was sick of hearing it at work (it’s still a struggle, as unfortunately its popularity hasn’t faded – but at least whenever I find myself going to use it I think of a synonym instead so I don’t get annoyed at myself). Well, now I’ve got a few other words on my mind, for slightly different reasons though.

I’ve identified recently that I say the words tricky, hard and difficult a lot, especially when I’m trying to find a nice way to tell someone that what they want from me is not really high on my priority list. Once I realised my habit, I was keen to break it and work harder on accepting the priorities of others; I even told a colleague to keep me in check (who kindly and promptly told me I was probably exaggerating).

It didn’t work. Now I just feel guilty whenever I hear myself say those words, and prick up my ears when I hear others say those words (wondering if they have an ulterior motive like me). For some people I have become more intolerant of their priorities and yet I haven’t found a reasonable way of telling them so.

I’m deciding for the moment to not focus on the fact that this isn’t really a godly practice (or even that professional), to consider how often these words form a reaction to Christianity. How can I expect people to investigate the claims of Jesus and continue in the faith when I give them the response I do to something far easier to comprehend and take action on?

Thankfully the Holy Spirit is more reliable than me.

"... Time takes time you know ..."

Ben Folds, 'Time', 2005

I have a subscription to TIME magazine, which shows up in the mailbox every Monday. Unfortunately the only time I really get to read it these days is in a plane, like the one I’m in right now. I have many back issues that are still sitting in their plastic covers.

Two stories this week have caught my attention:

- Co-operation between Muslims and Christians in Egypt post its recent political uprising. Whilst in principle forming such relationships is a good thing, to win some for Christ, I’m not sure what I think of some of their joint endeavours. For example, protecting each other as they pray, helping each other re-build places of worship that were destroyed, guarding couples where one is Christian and the other Muslim. Am I just being too judgemental? What is God’s will and plan in this situation?
- The science of optimism. I haven’t read this story yet, but it’s the cover story and the reason why I picked this issue of the magazine to bring along on my trip instead of others. It fascinates me that the world keeps trying to uncover answers to questions that find their ‘Yes’ in Christ. Tell me if this is too out there or the wrong train of thought, but God engineered us with optimism to sustain our hope and faith until his plans come to fruition. There is empirical evidence for almost anything if we put our minds to it, but without the gospel what does it mean?

This kind of thinking is exactly why I subscribed in the first place, so I can know what is happening in this world and find ways to discuss these current affairs as a Christian. I just need to make sure I keep reading.