Random acts of kindness

"Black fingernails, red wine,

I want to make you all mine ..."

Eskimo Joe, 'Black Fingernails, Red Wine', 2006

So I went for a walk yesterday (hence the song - try doing some exercise to it sometime, it's perfect!), thinking once again about what I could write next in my blog, and it started raining. This brought back a memory from university when my boyfriend (now husband) and I were walking back to my flat when suddenly there was a storm above us. We ran to a service station, where this guy getting petrol - a total stranger - saw us dripping wet and asked if he could give us a lift home. We jumped in his car whilst he paid - he had a $20 note just sitting there, and he obviously trusted us not to do anything with it. I don't remember too much else about the trip, other than he drove us home and we weren't so wet anymore.

I wonder if this guy was a Christian? Or was this just a moment of kindness or morality in a normal life? In some respects I don't mind, I'd just like to imitate his behaviour - but I really hope he has been saved too.

An epiphany ... and netball

"The b&%$h went nuts,

She stabbed my basketball, and the speakers to my stereo,

She called me c ..."

Ben Folds, 'B^%#h Went Nuts', 2008

I had an epiphany this weekend whilst playing netball, which I believe will help me with one of my New Years Resolutions - but, most importantly, will help me overcome a sin I struggle to repent of.

I have a problem with swearing ... mainly that I can't stop doing it. Some swear words are just really good descriptive words. I think I have been swearing since I was in primary school. Writing them is another story (as the lyrics above demonstrate), but I never seem to have a problem enounciating them. Many people have tried to help me stop (my boss never swears, she says 'Pluck a duck' instead, which I admit I use from time to time...) with minimal success until now.

I seem to play netball at the moment with a few of the more rowdy players that I have met over the lifetime I have played. On Saturday, one of our girls got upset that her opponent had given her a knock and she gave him a mouthful. She got a warning as a result and the game suddenly turned uncomfortable. Whilst I felt sorry for her situation and annoyed at her opponent, her outburst caught me off guard and I felt that I wanted to distance myself from it. Then, all of a sudden, I found myself thinking of what other people must think when I speak like that ... and I was horrified.

Problem solved? I'm at least on my way. I'm thankful to God for the unique ways he presents to move past hurdles like these and in so doing brings us closer to him.

Fear ... and the dark

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

All your life

You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Black bird singing in the dead of night

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see

All your life you were only waiting for this moment to be free

Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly

Into the light of the dark black night ..."

'Blackbird', The Beatles, 1968

Yay - a chance to use a Beatles song as an opener. The music may be a little bit more upbeat than what I was hoping to write about though.

My niece is still scared of the dark although she is seven. It may be partly my fault, as I felt compelled to tell her about werewolves when she was four and there was a full moon in the sky. My husband and I babysat her this weekend just gone, and she simply couldn't sleep by herself in her own bed, a habit her parents have allowed her to develop for some time now. Yet I think I have learnt something about my own fear of the dark recently too. Ironically, one occasion where this stood out was when we were playing a game with Lilly while we were babysitting her, which was essentially Hide and Seek in the dark. Another was when my work travels found me in a hotel room with a mouse and I was terrified that if I turned the lights out the mouse would have free rein. Obviously I too can still fear the dark like a child. But mostly the idea has stood out from our recent explorations through the gospel at church. We are to run toward the light and away from the dark, and we are to be light in the world. I feel that one way God is leading me on this particular journey right now is in my recognition that it's people that really matter, that it's really important to always give people the time of day and not feel that you can't afford to do that. God can use every one of these encounters for good.

Whilst we are called to avoid the darkness and what it embodies, we are also told that 'the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom', one of my favourite Bible quotes to regurgitate and ponder over. I remember having to discuss fear in a high school debate once and having to talk off the top of my head when my notes ran out to make up the time. We are told essentially to fear darkness, to fear God, but not to fear or worry about tomorrow. Yet we all fear different things. Fear can drive us or debilitate us. It actually causes a physiological 'fight or flight' response in us. The idea of fear is fascinating, and I must admit I'm glad God gave us such a quirk.

Replacements

"Living in a material world

And I am a material girl ..."

Madonna, 'Material Girl', 1985

I have replaced several relatively big things in my life in the last few weeks ... my car, my glasses, my phone ... it's almost too much fun. It worries me that if I'm on a roll that replacing my God might not be too far away.