Sinning ... and Florence

'But I'm not giving up, I'm just giving in ...'

Florence and The Machine, 'Never Let Me Go', 2011

I don't think this band is Christian but they definitely have some songs that get me thinking that way. This line stood out from one of the songs on their brilliant new album. How much does it sound like our daily grind?!

"I’m coming home, I’m coming home

Tell the World I’m coming home

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday

I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes

I’m coming home, I’m coming home

Tell the World that I’m coming..."

P. Diddy, 'Coming Home', 2010

This week I went on a road trip between Adelaide and Melbourne, courtesy of the new job. The first town I stayed in reminded me immensely of where I grew up. The town had about 3000 people. There was one supermarket and one Chinese restaurant. There were two pubs, and one was much better than the other. Even the people whose B&B was my resting place reminded me of my parents.

The instant connection I felt with this town made me consider how we connect with spiritual homes, on earth (like that connection you feel when you discover someone is a Christian) but more importantly in heaven. 'Home is where the heart is', they say. That familiar feeling of home is so prevalent as a member of God's family and it is a great blessing.

Another car blog ...

Just imagine I put the lyrics to 'Drive My Car' by the Beatles here. As straightforward as those lyrics are, today I think it'd be fun to not bother.

God likes to show me things in the car, as you have seen from my previous blog entries. Maybe he's making up for lost time - I was a bit of a late learner. The latest example occurred last night.

It was raining and the person in the lane next to me must have been struggling with visibility. I know the road well and was keen to get past them, even though it was raining and I have had accidents in the rain before ... I was thinking my newer better car might serve me better in a tricky situation than the last one. When the person in the neighbouring lane started drifting significantly into my lane, I beeped them impatiently and sped past them when they moved.

About a kilometre down the road, still driving impatiently home and my struggling friend now trailing me, a possum ran out on the road. I couldn't slow down quick enough. He was still lying on the road when I looked back in my rear vision mirror. I think I created some road kill last night.

I'm glad that God continues to persevere with teaching me patience on the road, and I pray I heed the lesson quickly.

No songs or even a title this time. I just wanted to express how frustrated with myself I am at the moment. John Piper was in Sydney a few weeks ago and gave a stirring talk on how we waste our time. Even since that night all I have done is waste my time.

Charms ... and reminders

"I need a dollar dollar, a dollar is what I need hey hey

Well I need a dollar dollar, a dollar is what I need hey hey

And I said I need a dollar dollar, a dollar is what I need

And if I share with you my story would you share your dollar with me .."

Aloe Blacc, 'I Need A Dollar', 2011

I was given a Pandora bracelet as a present this year, with three charms on it - one was a house, another was a car, and the last one was a money bag. These charms are supposed to represent the story or 'achievements' of this year in my life. Needless to say, I'm starting to feel a little uncomfortable about wearing my materialism so blatantly on my wrist. So I've decided (rather than to stop wearing the bracelet altogether) that I need to start looking at the charms in a different way. God continues to provide and bless me with the things that are shown as charms on that bracelet. If I was to actually find a charm for everything in my life that is attributable to God on that bracelet - husbands, family, Jesus, the Bible, life itself! - I think my arm would snap off from the weight. But, if it is God's will, I'll keep adding these reminder charms to my bracelet.

Secrets ... mine and others

"Do you want to know a secret?

Do you promise not to tell?"

The Beatles, 'Do You Want To Know A Secret?', 1963

Keeping secrets eat me up inside, and always has. I'm not known for keeping secrets - I can't even usually stop myself telling people I bought them a present and what it was. There are 3 significant secrets I remember keeping - one was when we threw a surprise party for my parents when they turned 50, one was when we threw a surprise welcome home party for my sister, and the last one happened just recently.

I have resigned from my job to persue another opportunity, which feels like a big (welcome!) change as I've been with my present company for 5 years. My boss asked me to keep it under wraps for a few days until her boss was available, and so I did - struggling of course. When the day finally came to announce the news, it was well and truly overshadowed by the resignation of two much more senior people in the company. I did feel somewhat ripped off, but when I understood the gravity of their secret - they could not say anything about their resignation until it was formally announced on the stock exchange for goodness sake - I realised how minor my complaint was. And when I considered it in light of the gradual revelation (mystery/'secret') of God's will it's pretty meaningless! So glad I could put it in context like that and get over it.

"No matter gay, straight, or bi, lesbian, transgendered life

I'm on the right track baby

I was born to survive ..."

Lady Gaga, 'Born This Way', 2011

I went to a conference today on building Christian knowledge and responses on homosexuality (in a nutshell). Just a quick observation - I didn't realise how much it would reveal about my own sins.